Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
