I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
