I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
