I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
A bitchslap is in order.
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