How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
as a side note pls kill me
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
