why didn't you poke me back
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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