Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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