My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
