we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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