Grow some girl-balls and come out already
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
