I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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