i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
