this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
