OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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