is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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