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• (906): View more from Michigan

  Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Perfect. Like where your heads at

  (906): View more from Michigan

  By relax I mean have sex

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• (361): View more from Texas

  What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  These are the tickets we got last night.

  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Yes...yes you did.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.

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• (214): View more from Texas

  I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

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• (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on

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• (323): View more from California

  Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.

  (1-517): View more from Michigan

  You must be good in bed dude

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday

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