I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
