Small penises have feelings too.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
