i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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