Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
