I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
