Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
