Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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