I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
