Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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