I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
