if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
