In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
