He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
