Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
My breath smells like gin and sadness
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
