Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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