Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You need a sexual gate keeper
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
