i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
