She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
