No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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