Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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