why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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