I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
