You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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