you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
