ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
