I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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