erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
