so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
