it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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