Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
