We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
