it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
MIDGETS
????
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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