I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
