I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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